Opening up your heart and your home, to raise a child that is not your own, is an enormous challenge.

Caregivers can feel isolated and overwhelmed at times but Caring Families Aotearoa has provided crucial support to care families since 1976. The charity helps almost 650 caregivers in the Bay of Plenty alone.

Regional Coordinator, Nyvonne Krause, visits individual homes and organises regular training workshops, group coffee dates and events to guide and support people through the ups and downs of raising tamariki and rangitahi who have experienced trauma or neglect.

“Caregivers are not classed as professionals,” she explains. “They don’t have a certificate or letters behind their name. But what they do is just so important for the future of our country. They’re shaping our future adults through the work that they do.”

Unique role

Caregiving is a broad term – it covers anyone raising a child that isn’t their own. This includes foster caregivers, whānau caregivers, respite caregivers and permanent (home for life) caregivers. About 20% of people are grandparents raising their own grandchildren.

“Quite often our caregivers don’t go looking to be a caregiver,” Nyvonne explains. “It kind of finds them… they can stumble across a family in need, or it could be suggested to them that they would make a great caregiver. They do it because they think they can make a difference. Some people have already raised their own tamariki and feel they still have a lot to give.

“It's not a job it’s more of a lifestyle because you're 24/7 with a child and you're helping them heal from trauma and abuse that they have suffered before they got to you.

“You have to have empathy and understanding that a child has had a very different experience to what you may have had as a child. They need a lot more than just love. Love is a great place to start, but having patience and understanding and resilience to be there when things aren’t great, is what’s most important.”

Emotional support

Nyvonne is always available at the end of the phone if caregivers need to talk an issue through, or if they’re just having a tough day.

“I can offer them an understanding and sympathetic ear. I can offer them perspective, because when you are locked up with a child who isn't maybe the happiest person in the world, and maybe you haven't had enough sleep the night before and you’re not feeling at your best either, it can become overwhelming really quickly.

“I just listen without judgment…. I don’t always have the answers. We don't try to be problem solvers. Sometimes people just need a little bit of guidance around how they approach situations and what’s the best pathway for them to go down.”

Nyvonne, who is a former caregiver herself, says the trauma tamariki experience in their early lives often delays their emotional development. This can be unsettling for caregivers when the child doesn’t react the way you’d expect them to for their age.

“The calibre of the caregiver comes to light when things are not going good for them and their children. So when the child is at their lowest, this is where you see our caregivers shine by using their knowledge and skills.

“For some people it’s just too hard, but the majority of our caregivers persevere and show such inner strength. It's amazing. Our kids are so lucky to have them.”

BayTrust funds

This year BayTrust is granting $13,015 to help fund Nyvonne’s role – something she is incredibly grateful for amid a tough economy. “To be able to get the funding that we get, to do the job that we do, to support the people that we support, who raise the children that they’re raising, is amazing. The ripple effect is huge.

“It takes a lot of worry away. It just enables me to get in my car and drive around the Bay of Plenty to host a training or workshop. It enables me to host coffee groups. It enables me to acknowledge the amazing work that our caregivers do through Foster Care Awareness Week and other events.

“But what the grant means is I can physically be there. Because otherwise I’d just be a phone number for these people. And because they deal with difficult children, actually being able to sit in their lounge means they can look into my eyes and really feel that I get what they’re talking about. That I understand, and that I’m there for them.”